【简介】下面是小编收集整理的英语新年小笑话（共7篇），供大家参考借鉴，欢迎大家分享。在此，感谢网友“se7e”投稿本文！篇1：英语新年小笑话英语小笑话：IsHisFaulIsHisFaul...
【简介】下面是小编收集整理的英语新年小笑话（共7篇），供大家参考借鉴，欢迎大家分享。在此，感谢网友“se7en”投稿本文！
英语小笑话：It's His Fault
It's His Fault
Billy and Bobby were small boys. They were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.
Last Saturday their mother said to them, I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden and be good.
Yes, Mummy, the two boys answered, and they went out.
They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen. Mummy, he said, Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allen's house. Mrs. Allen was one of their neighbors.
He's a bad boy, his mother said. How did he break it?
I threw a stone at him, Billy answered, and he quickly moved down.
是他的错
比利和波比都是小男孩。他们是兄弟，两人经常打架。
上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说，我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。
是，妈妈，两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。
他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。妈妈，他说，波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。艾伦太太是他们的邻居。
他是个坏孩子，他的妈妈说，他是怎么把玻璃打碎的?
我朝他扔了一块石子，比利回答道，他赶紧蹲下。
英语小笑话：A physics Examination 一次物理考试
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.
The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?
Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
英语小笑话：Excited Remarks 激动的话
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(长声尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的爱好。只要看见一辆摩托车，他就会高兴得哇哇直叫，并激动地说：瞧这辆!瞧这辆，我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着，你就别想有这玩艺儿。
一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话，有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆!瞧这辆!等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。
英语小笑话：Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?
A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。
他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?
英语小笑话：Whose father was the stronger
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
Will said, “Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it.”
Bill wasn't impressed, “Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!”
维尔和比尔在争吵，谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说：“你知道太平洋吗? 那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说：“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
英语小笑话：Persistance 缠住不放
Returning from a golf outing(远足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答复) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完高尔夫球回来，我们四岁的女儿莎拉在门口迎了上去。爸爸，谁赢了高尔夫球比赛，是你还是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高尔夫球不是为赢，丈夫推诿说。我们打球只是为了好玩而已。
莎拉毫不气馁，又问：那么，爸爸，谁觉得更好玩呢?
篇2：英语小笑话A Useful Way 一个有效的方法
Father: Jack， why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple， Dad。
Father: What“s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple。
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?
杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?
杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。
篇3：英语小笑话我根本就看不见
After supper， the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests。 At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV， ”Honey， go see if the kitchen light is on or not?“ After a while， her son returnedand said， ”Ma， the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all。“
晚饭后，父亲和母亲都忙着和客人玩麻将，这时母亲忽然想起点儿事来，便对正在看电视的儿子说道：“宝贝，去看看厨房里的灯是不是还开着呢?” 过了一会儿，儿子回来说：“妈，厨房里太黑了，我根本就看不见。”
篇4：英语小笑话Toms excuse 汤姆的借口
Teacher: Tom， why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I e to the corner， a sign says， School-Go Slow。
教师：汤姆，您为什么每一天上学迟到?
汤姆：我每次走过拐角，一个路标上头写着：学校----慢行。
篇5：英语小笑话三只乌龟
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee。 Just as they got into the cafe， it started to rain。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one， ” Go home and get the umbrella。“
The little turtle replied， ”I will， if you dont drink my offee。“
”We wont，“ the other two promised。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle， ”Well， I guess he isnt ing back， so we might as well drink his coffee。“
Just then a voice called from outside the door， ”If you do， I wont go。“
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们能够把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”
篇6：英语小笑话”Excuse me，but the seat youve taken is mine。“
”Yours?Can you prove it?“
”Yes，I put a cup of ice cream on it。“
”请原谅，你占了我的位置。“
”你的位置?你能征明这点吗?“
”能，我在位置上放了杯冰激凌。“
篇7：英语小笑话孩子的祈祷
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents house。 At bedtime， the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers， when the younger one began praying at the top of his lungs: ”I pray for a bicycle。 I pray for a new toy。“
两个小男孩在祖父母家过夜。睡觉的时候，两个小男孩跪在床边开始祈祷，这时小一些的孩子扯开嗓子大声喊道：“我祈求得到一辆自行车。我祈求有一个新玩具。”
His older brother leaned over， nudged him and said， ”Why are you shouting your prayers? God isnt deaf。“
他的哥哥靠过来，用肘轻碰他说：“你为什么这么大声喊叫呢？上帝又不是聋子。”
To which the little brother replied， ”No， but Grandma is!"
弟弟回答说：“是的，可是奶奶听不到呀！”
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